today i scrolled through some photos of my little cash when he was just a wee thing . . . i have realized that i have missed so many opportunities for photos. i have been so wrapped up in snuggling my cashs neck and whispering into his ear that i have forgotten that there will probably be a day that i forget what that was like. i will forget what it was like when he first reached up and grabbed his little toes. i will forget his squawking little voice as he stares at the wall.
i say i will forget because i have my dads memory . . . that is that there isn't much of one. if you ask me questions about my earliest memories . . . i really can't go back that early (at least in comparison to jeremy). i think one of my earliest memories was when i was in elementary . . . . . what about all that life i lived before that.
i remember looking through photographs of my moms when i was younger and asking her stories about them. what her life was like back then. who the people were.
i wanted to be able to remember my life.
then i got my first 110 camera and was able to start taking pictures myself. i was able to start recording my memories.
i knew eventually that the field i had grown up picking flowers in, riding my bike through, walked through to go to school, was going to be gone one day. i took my trusty 110 camera with me and set out on a journey. i was going to document that field how i had remembered it. my field. my field of memories.
today that field is gone. and cash is growing to fast.
my camera is calling.
my field. the way i remember it.
1994
